On an upswing.

I am finally starting to feel a bit settled here, which is a relief. I think thats due to a couple of factors and things kind of just falling into place a little bit.

1) Work. I actually feel like I kind of know what i'm doing/ supposed to be doing here, which is a relief. I've finally started to develop relationships with people, which is the bread and butter of what i do here. I'm starting to figure out what direction i think things should be going in. I made some breakthroughs on and completed (sort of) the research I was doing.

2) Socially. I've been busier and I'm starting to really explore the city. I've maybe even been making friends. Its amazing how much effort it takes, but for me, its almost necessary.

3) Religiously. I've been getting more into the rhythm of going to services every week, and trying out new places. Its been grounding me and helping me to find a home in Chicago, and thats good I think.

4) Life back in cali. Working really hard (and semi-succeeding) at only caring about what I want to care about, and not getting bogged down by nonsense.

5) Traveling. LA next weekend, Philly for Thanksgiving, home around christmas -time, new mexico for new years. Its all very exciting! :)

Its been a crazy week, personally, socially, professionally, even weatherwise. I've been busy with everything from work to avodah to social engagements and through it all, somewhat numb to the world. I've stopped crying. I can't even get myself to cry. me. The girl who wears her emotions on her sleeve.

On another note, check out http://www.iamemilyx.blogspot.com/. The more I hear, the more I see, the more I find myself paying attention to the fight around abortion rights in this country, the more I get disgusted with the activist pro-life crowd. Have some dignity - we don't have as many choices as we should in our lives. Don't deny any more than we absolutely have to.

Closing my heart

Every time i put my heart out on the line, open it up just a little bit, someone, somewhere figures out a way to poke it in just the right places, making me wonder why i ever opened up to begin with.

Maybe its time to close up shop.

Law School

Perhaps this lack of drive to get these applications done is a sign. A sign I don't actually want to go to Law School next year. Or maybe its just procrastination at its finest. On the off chance its the latter, I suppose I should force myself to get these things done.